Ruling the World with Cleavage

I was at Starbucks today, getting my daily caramel frappuccino, when I got attacked by man's biggest vulnerability: cleavage. I had just payed for my drink, turned around, and BAM! There sat a woman, in her early thirties, laboring over some pages that were spread out on her Starbucks desk. The Starbucks desk was low, and so was the cut of her shirt. The perfect storm of cleavage. I was caught in those tractor beams for about 10 seconds, until I realized that I was leaning forward at a forty-five degree angle and my tongue was hitting the floor. I snapped out of it and pulled myself together, only to look to my right and see a forty-something year old man caught by this vixen's trap. She was a tricky one.

Now, there are a couple of things that one should know about cleavage. A good shot of cleavage can be more tantalizing than a bare breast. I'm not sure why this is, but it's true. Perhaps it's because we men think that women don't mean to show us all this. When we see cleavage, it's like we catch a sneak preview of the next summer's blockbuster movie. However, it's clear that women can use tactical cleavage to their advantage. They could rule the world. Second, one should stare at cleavage for only a split second. Like Jerry Seinfeld says, "It's like looking at the sun, only for a glance or your eyes will burn". My fellow Starbucks patron could have learned this; he was lost in those babies.

Sorry if that was too crude. I can't wait for potential employers to read this site. They will think, "This kid went to college? What the hell was he doing"? What was I doing indeed....

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