Southern California Creamin'-Part 1

O.K., You got some catching up to do.

Zach and I arrived to my Uncle's house in Moorpark, C.A. on Sunday evening. After a chill out session the night we arrived, we were ready to jump into gear Monday afternoon. We went for a hike behind my Uncle's house. The rattlesnake population is growing here because of the drought that it currently taking place in Southern California. There has already been twice as many sitings as there usually are at this point in the year. During our hike we were like two scared little girls, nervously tiptoeing around the fields. We got to a point where there was high grass, and we heard the rattle of a rattlesnake, which sounds like a broken water pipe. The sound was pretty far off, but I wanted to see a rattler in the wild, so I started throwing rocks towards the sound-nothing happened. We decided it was too treacherous to continue and turned back towards the house. However, we did manage to find these rattler eggs in an old pipe. I offered Zach ten bucks to stick his hand in the pipe and get sum, but he chickened out. Scared little girl....

On Tuesday we cruised up to Ventura and went surfing. Both Zach and I have been surfing once before, with an instructor, and we were ready to check out the bodacious waves of California. We rented wet suits and two boards that were roughly the size and weight of two small canoes. Maneuvering a board the size of a boat is no fun, especially in the breakneck surf conditions we discovered on the beach.

A four foot wave does not look like much from the shore. In fact, it's rather pleasant, almost comforting. But, when I was laying down on my ship of a board, staring at a cresting wave about eight feet ahead of me, I knew for sure my life was over. I was dead. As many of you know, I'm a wonderful swimmer who is extremely confident in my abilities, but this fact did not matter in the hurricane like surf that consumes So Cal. I ultimately mastered a procedure that enabled me to survive these four foot behemoths. I would spot the wave coming towards me,The Fear would cause me to grip my board in an inhuman fashion, I'd then clench my asshole tight as a vice grip, and brace for impact. After the wave hit me like jo' momma, I got thrown around in the surf, took comfort in the fact that I would die on a sunny day in California, and then somehow manage to get back to the surface just in time to start the whole harrowing situation over. Surfing kicks ass.

Wednesday, my Aunt Marcia took us to the Santa Ynez vineyards that were featured in the movie Sidways for wine tasting. I was a broken shell of a man from the previous day's surfing, and the wine eased my wounds. The Santa Ynez valley is extremely gorgeous, but I was mostly too wined out to notice. We went to four different tasting sessions, tasting about 2 tablespoons of six different wines at each session. I hadn't held much hope for me becoming a wine connoisseur, but I learned more than a thing or two throughout the whole process. The teachings at the tasting sessions taught how to look at, smell , and taste wine-the tasting being my favorite part. My Aunt is quite the funny lady, and I enjoyed spending some quality time with her, hearing scandalous stories about my Uncle sipping on some fine wine.

We went surfing again on Thursday. It was even more treacherous than before. We got in one of those turf fights over waves like the incident that was featured in the movie 'Point Break'. Zach is now in traction. .. just joking.

More coming soon now that I got the internet.