Malware

My computer is crapping out. Finished. Donzo. It was on the fritz for a long time, but now it's near worthless. Like The Dude says about his flame soaked car in the parking lot of the bowling alley, "Well, they finally did it, man. They finally killed my fucking car." It wasn't nihilists burning my 1973 Ford Torino , complete with my Creedence, but viruses reeking havoc on my software. Viruses and Malware.

Am I the only person of my generation never to hear of malware? My technological knowledge is antiquated. I thought I was cutting edge when I could describe the function of spyware, or adware. "I think it just gets into your computer, fucks things up," I would say. Boom. Definition dolled out. But malware? Hottopic and Mr. Rags clothing? Like those post-gothic/rave pants with chains connecting the pant legs, alluding to masochism and reeking of daddy issues? I thought that was malware. Not something that slows down your computer and steals credit card information. Who has time to keep up with all this stuff? Malware, spyware, adware; everything and the kitchen sink.

I tell you what, as technologically unsavvy as I am for a member of my generation, I fixed my computer. Well, only sort of. But at least I can once again access the internet. You know, check my Facebook and watch illegally streamed episodes of The Simpsons. All the things the internet is good for. Without going into the gritty, curse-heavy details of how many hours and the amount of blood, sweat, and tears I pored into fixing my computer, it came down to this: I downloaded a program. I used software to fix my software problem. I found the solution to my computer's internet inability on the internet. The problem and the answer came from the very same place. I mindlessly infected my computer with malware, and I mindlessly downloaded a program that got rid of it. No brain power necessary.

So, I'm back. At least for a little while, until my computer is too crowded with stripjointware to work properly.

In other news:
1. I miss Louis G.
2. I miss my house/cat/family in Olympia.
3. I hate NYC when I'm away from it, but I like it when I'm here.

EDIT: Malware might be pronounced mal, as in malicious software. But who cares? I pronounce it mall, as in "I got to second base with my girlfriend at the mall."

Hopefully more updates soon. Message me if you want to read any of my stories. As per usual, here is the first bit to a new story I'm writing. Rough draft. Click this link.